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Pac-10 preseason football rankings = USC and those other teams

Is it too early to talk about football?

Seems like it should be...but considering we are a third of the way through July, the season is just around the corner, and ESPN just released their preseason Pac-10 rankings: let's talk. (Who really cares about the new iPhone coming out and having problems already anyway? Did anybody NOT see that coming? I mean, seriously...there will be a new one in 3 months, people. Sleep in next time.)

Guess who ESPN picked as their preseason #1 in the Pac-10? I'll give you a hint: USC.

I bet you didn't see that coming, casual college football fan. It doesn't take an expert to pick USC as #1 in the Pac-10. In fact, I don't think it even takes a real person. I overheard a few of the trees in my backyard talking today, and they were all picking USC too. (One of them was wearing a Matt Leinart jersey.) Even 6 out of the 8 voices in my head agreed that USC is not only the #1 team in the Pac-10, but in the country as well. And if those other 2 voices hadn't been asleep/at a club in Ibiza, I'm sure it would have been unanimous... Uhh...but before I scare you away, here is the complete list of rankings and analysis from ESPN.com's Ted Miller:

1. USC: Again as talented as anyone and a national title contender. While a seventh consecutive conference title feels like almost a sure thing, BCS title hopes hang on quarterback Mark Sanchez and a talented but inconsistent and/or inexperienced offense finding its mojo.

2. Oregon: Ducks aren't rebuilding, particularly if sophomore quarterback Nate Costa lives up to his hype and the defense finds some hole-plugging presences in the front seven. There's a lot of speed and skill in Eugene, and the Ducks secondary rivals USC for the best unit in the nation.

3. Arizona State: Schedule is a lot tougher than '07, see a visit from Georgia on Sept. 20. But if the offensive line comes through -- albeit a big if -- there really aren't many holes on this team. And a veteran quarterback, such as Rudy Carpenter, goes a long way in the Pac-10.

4. California: Will there be a hangover from 2007's second-half meltdown? Or will the Bears bounce back and challenge for the Pac-10 crown like they appeared to be doing until Oct. 13 last fall? The issue might not be emotional, though. It might be inexperience and uncertainty at quarterback.

5. Arizona: Some of us (who, me?) have been predicting an Arizona turnaround for a few years now. But now we mean it. Promise. The schedule and offensive firepower, led by veteran QB Willie Tuitama, will get 'Cats to a bowl.

6. Oregon State: It's tempting to rank the Beavers higher because they almost always exceed expectation, a fact their fans quite reasonably relish. But OSU is rebuilding its defensive front seven and seems unsettled at quarterback. That said: There's plenty of skill on offense and the secondary is outstanding, so the Beavers could again take a bite out of prognosticators.

7. Washington: The Huskies might well be much improved this season as quarterback Jake Locker, Tim Tebow West Coast, becomes a bona fide star, but the schedule and huge questions on defense make it hard to imagine a winning record. And a without a winning record, coach Tyrone Willingham might lose his job.

8. UCLA: The schedule is brutal (Tennessee, BYU and Fresno State are the nonconference games). The offensive line may be brutalized. New coach Rick Neuheisel didn't inherit much talent, and that figures to show on the field, no matter how good the coaching staff is.

9. Stanford: Those of us who suspect Jim Harbaugh might turn out to be an outstanding coach will be tempted to rate Stanford higher. And 16 starters back from team that mostly played inspired football last season even gives some heft to that hunch. But, I just couldn't pull the trigger on a higher slot.

10. Washington State: New coach Paul Wulff has made a strong first impression in Pullman, but he inherited a thin roster and will be breaking in a new quarterback. If the Cougs get lucky with injuries, they might escape the conference cellar, but young teams don't often do that.

So what do you think about my boy Teddy's picks and analysis? (We go way back.) I think they're pretty awesome; and the other two voices in my head just woke up/got back from Ibiza, and agree too. (Okay...now I'm even scaring myself.)

I especially like the pick of Arizona State at #3. Although, I'm biased because I went there, but I believe they have a shot this season at winning the conference. You all saw what Dennis Erickson did last season. Nobody expected that. Sure, they have a tougher schedule...but if they pull off some bigger wins before conference play, who knows... It all hinges on the performance of returning starting quarterback, Rudy Carpenter. He's extremely talented, but can be a bit of a head case at times. (In fact, he is good friends with voice #4 in my head... Sorry.) If he can keep his emotions in check, he could take them to even higher heights this season. Even though they are ranked #3, I think the Sun Devils are the real x-factor in the league this season. It will be interesting to see where they end up and how they respond to their unexpected successful season last year.

I don't really like Teddy's pick of California at #4...but I guess I don't work for ESPN, or follow Berkeley too closely. Ever since the school was infested by hippies, like, 30 years before I was born, I just can't get into it.

I think UCLA is screwed.

I like Stanford to finish above their #9 ranking, at #8.

And I think Oregon is overrated...because they are Oregon. But they are always good, so it's probably a safe pick at #2.

Look, everybody knows that USC is going to run away with this thing. If you watched the Rose Bowl on New Year's Day (like I did, live...single tear), you know how loaded this team is. Their 3rd stringers could probably...well...you get it. They are good. They are stacked. Pete Carroll owns college football, and LA. ESPN will ride their jocks all season, and Snoop Dogg will visit their practices. They are USC. They are the Trojans. And I, personally, can't wait until they are busted for NCAA recruiting violations, so these ESPN Pac-10 preseason rankings actually mean something again. But you didn't hear that from me. That was my 6th voice named Larry. He's pretty crazy.

Brian Laesch is apparently a schizophrenic sportswriter now, (insert stolen joke from What About Bob? here.)

They're a MAN band, not a boy band!

The New Kids on the Block are back...and WOW should they have stayed away.

Back in the day when NKOTB were cuddling the hearts of teenage girls across America, I was listening to Guns N Roses...I look back on them as the beginning of the end for good pop music in the 80s and almost the entire 90s...

They started the decline of western civilization. Justin Timberlake, you owe your soul to these boys...I mean men.

So here they are, the new video from...The OLD MEN on the block...

It's so horrible, it's hard to watch...but get through it because the ending is the best!

"it's on"

An Andruw Jones Retrospective

Well, well, well...It's almost to the halfway point of the 2008 season as the All-Star game approaches next week. The Dodgers' lone representative is Russel Martin...who makes the Major League Minimum. He's on his way to his 2nd consecutive appearance.

But wasn't Andruw Jones supposed to be the Dodgers' newest All-Star? After a great career in Atlanta that saw his power numbers steadily decline since he hit 51 homers in 2005, the Dodgers signed him to a whopping 2 year contract at $18 million per year...

So to date here are Andruw Jones' stats at the halfway point...in 49 games with 152 at bats Jones has a .171 batting average, 9 RBIs and 2 home runs with an on base percentage of .270 and a slugging percentage of .263. That breaks it down to $2 million an RBI and $9 million a home run.

Today the Seattle Mariners released Richie Sexson after nobody wanted him and his "pitiful" .218 batting average and 18 home runs. No I don't smoke crack or anything but man that sure seems like one hell of an improvement over Andruw Jones and he's still patrolling center field for the Dodgers. And I haven't even mentioned Jones weight, which lets just say is much higher than his batting average.

So if you were Ned Coletti the Dodgers' GM or Manager Joe Torre, would you bench Jones? No way, they just fired their hitting coach, since it must be his fault Andruw Jones' chin looks more like the Golden Fleece than the chin of a multi-million dollar professional athlete. So now it's Don Mattingly's turn to keep Jones away from the In and Out truck.

So needless to say this is one of the most disappointing free agent signings since Darryl Strawberry lit a crack pipe in the Dodgers' locker room.

We love the Dodgers but we don't love Jones. We are sad that he is taking valuable playing time away from young players with potential like Delwyn Young. So a fan of the "blueness", I raise a clenched fist to all those Angel banners around town and ask the Big Blue Dodger in the sky, "why couldn't it have been Torii Hunter in blue instead of red?"

Like the owl from the Tootsie Rolls commercial back in the 70's said..."The world may never know." All we know is that Andruw Jones lack of production is costing people their jobs...and in an article in today's LA times, Bill Plaschke reports that Ned's head might roll next...

Stay tuned true believers!...More exciting Dodger talk coming your way...Same Fat, I mean Bat time and same Bat channel!

On Wisconsin!!

Within a span of one week, Wisconsin sports teams have seen plenty of fireworks. First Brett Favre pulled a Michael Jordan; professing his ‘itch’ to come out of retirement. Now that that smoke has cleared, at least for today, it was the Milwaukee Brewers turn to give their fans a barrage of their own.

1982…The last time the Milwaukee Brewers had an opportunity to compete for a World Series title. With Sunday's signing of the starting pitcher CC Sabathia, last year’s American League Cy Young winner, the Brew Crew made a strong move to end their 26-year postseason drought.

Yes, I understand it is too early to presume the Brewers will contend for the National League title but adding an All-Star southpaw to a rotation that already includes fellow All-Star Ben Sheets; Milwaukee has put all their chips forward.

It’s about time.

Much like Favre, when CC Sabathia takes the mound tonight for his first start as a Brewer, all of Wisconsin will be pulling for him. Brewers fans from across the land hope this will be the much needed final piece of their championship puzzle.

With Sabathia now on board and Favre’s desire to return, World Series and Super Bowl championships are within sight and getting the ‘beer state’ in a frenzy. Both the Brewers and Packers are in the spotlight of their respective sports, setting up an explosive grand finally for all sports fans of Wisconsin to see.


Here are others’ views on the CC Sabathia trade:

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=769685

http://www.sportsline.com/mlb/story/10889650

http://blog.cleveland.com/sports/2008/07/cc_sabathia_brew_town_bound.html

4th of July Hangover

Is there a worse hangover than the Monday after a 4th of July weekend? I'm not even talking about the result of too much liquor being consumed in celebration of America's birthday. I'm talking about the fact that, most likely, the biggest and best party you will attend all summer has just passed, and it's only a matter of time until we are in the dog days of summer.

Not to be a downer, but...wait a minute...I'm even depressing myself right now. Hold on, I'm going to go get some coffee...

I'm back.

Man, this is going to be the sickest summer yet! There are at least two good months left, the MLB pennant race is heating up, the Olympics in Beijing are on their way (including all kind of potential international craziness), the beach weather is only going to continue and Tropic Thunder hasn't even hit theaters yet. What was I complaining about before? Summer 2008 is only just beginning. I've still got leftover fireworks, beer and I might as well keep this American flag flying on my front porch (okay, I don't have a porch...but if I did, I'd have a flag on it). Yeah, I guess I was just being a downer before. And it looks like, after years of failed research, I have discovered the cure for the 4th of July hangover: blogging.

Brian Laesch is a temp for Eleventh Hour when not changing the world with his blogs.

Hollywood couldn't have written a better script...

I wonder if the Hollywood bidding war has begun on rights to the story of the 15 hostages who were just freed in Colombia. It's already the best movie I've seen this year...even though it's an article...and oh yeah, a true story.

It's an unbelievable story: The Colombian National Military spending months to infiltrate the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (or FARC), posting as rebels themselves, and tricking the real rebels into handing over 15 hostages, including 3 American Contractors and a former Colombian Presidential candidate who was kidnapped by the rebels 6 years ago while campaigning. This is the kind of stuff movies are made of...or the kind of stuff Hollywood screws up with a movie. Because let's face it: Hollywood messes up a lot of movies, and this story pretty much stands alone already as the feel-good...anything of the year.

The script is already written. Hollywood wouldn't have to change a thing. (Even wardrobe is taken care of. Some of the Colombian security forces posing as FARC rebels on the helicopter that picked up the hostages were wearing Che Guevara shirts. You know that’s exactly what a wardrobe department would do.) It's perfect... Yet, I've seen firsthand (make that, heard about firsthand, then seen on the screen) what studio development departments can do to potentially good films. They start to over think things, bring in way too many writers to "fix" scripts, and even, once the film has gone into production, let star actors take over films and practically rewrite them on set. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn't. But the process is flawed. And since William Goldman said, "Nobody Knows Anything," in his Hollywood book published in 1983, I'm guessing things aren't going to change.

So all I can say to Fox, Sony, Warner Bros., Disney, New Line (what's left), CAA, ICM, Endeavor, William Morris, Gersh, ABC, NBC, CBS, Viacom, Clear Channel, Rupert Murdoch and Ted Turner is: PLEASE DON'T SCREW THIS UP.